2004 April

Well Mr. Bush I hope you're ready for 10,000 women to march on Washington… March for Women's Lives is this Sunday. It's about choice, justice, access and health issues. Usually I'm a sideline watcher, this weekend I'm going to be a ”doer.” Since all my girls flaked it looks like I'm going alone. Maybe there's a reason for that, time for some introspection? hmmm worth a moment of thought. I'm hoping to see the Hall of Man and Earth at the Smithsonian. I remember my Father taking me there on a weekend Father /Daughter getaway to Washington.  I was an awe struck eight year old. Wow, remember when you were eight? Washington was the biggest best city in the whole world, it was where “the” decisions were made and the smartest people in the world lived. The movers and shakers of our time. I sure hope I can seize just 10 percent of that idealistic innocence this trip. All I keep thinking is ” President Bush, with all due respect, having the name Bush isn't the same as having a bush and you don't get to tell me how to deal with mine.”  Where are those rose tinted glasses? I know they are here somewhere, hmmmm maybe I'll go check the closet, yes, in that box labeled childhood memorabilia. (I hope they still fit, please God let them fit).  

It's awesome what a good nights rest and some serious thinking can do for you. I feel so much better now that I got out what has been bugging me. It prompted me to move forward on personal bussiness venture I've been contemplating for some time. I'm feeling HAPPY today.

Work is still crazy but I'm moving in a direction that is geared to where I want to be. That makes the day to day so much easier to handle.

Ok, I've decided I'm tired of being the cog in someone else's machine. Now the hard part comes, how do I  let go of  my false security? Base pay, salary, Mama always said “stick to a regular paycheck, know what's coming to you, that's security honey.” If that's true why are all the salesman driving 50k cars working 40 hour weeks and I'm still in my Fordrarri with 30 hours of overtime in the past two weeks? I know I'm just as equipped mentally as the top 10 percent of the Account Exec.'s at my sweatshop. I suppose I just need to take a long hard look at whether my heart can take the cut throat sales technique it takes to succeed in the big pond. I'll tell you this my mind sure is having a hissy fit about the whole morality BS the heart is giving. No more minnow lunches. Shark? Swordfish? Lay it on… this insane overtime for mere flake food is not cutting it. Am I suppose to just act like it's not all happening around me or do I walk in the “Talking Heads” office and tell him “this horse is tired of your fucking dangling carrot?

There's nothing wrong with your computer screen. I'm finally online!